All or Nothing
by Special Agent Black Storm
Summary: Pete should have never wished for her. Because even if he didn’t have her heart, at least he’d still have his own. [SP breakup] [Sam and Jack]


Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate SG1. I have no claim to them whatsoever. I also don't own the song 'All or Nothing' by O-Town.

Summary: Pete should have never wished for her. Because even if he didn't have her heart, at least he'd still have his own. A SP break-up Sam and Jack Songfic

Author's Note: Yeah, I know Sam called it off with Pete. I SAW it with my own eyes (and am SOOO happy!)But let's just pretend that never happened for the sake of the fic okay? HUGE thanks to Waddles52 as always, as well as Aingeal (Bekki), oneillroxmyworld.

Note before reading...PLEASE READ THE LYRICS THERE, THEY TIE IN WITH THE STORY!

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Pete glanced at the letter in his hands before returning his gaze to his rain- splattered windshield. This had to be one of the most chicken-shit ideas Pete Shanahan had ever had; but, what did it matter? He was never going to see the woman again, never hold her again. Why should he care what she thought of him, when soon she'd only be a painful memory.

Still, the thought bugged him…. "_A Dear Sam, I wanna break up with you cause you're infatuated with your CO_" letter? How much more of a coward could he be?

Not for the first time since he'd read the words he'd written, he thought of just dedicating a 'goodbye' song. He thought of reconsidering and just seeing where it would lead, just so he wouldn't have to break it off. He lowered his eyes to stray over the stanza's on the sheet of paper.

It held nothing but the lyrics to a song, but yet, it seemed appropriate to convey his feelings.

_**I know when he's been on your mind  
That distant look is in your eye  
I thought with time you'd realize  
It's over over  
It's not the way I choose to live  
And something some where's got to give  
As sharing this relationship gets older older  
You know I'd fight for you  
But how I can fight someone who isn't even there  
I've had the rest of you now I want the best of you  
I don't care if that's not fair**_

He didn't want to have to share her because the words were right. It wasn't fair. Right now, he had to share her with the fate and welfare of the planet…no, no—the fate if the _Universe_, without knowing whether there would _ever _be an end. And that wasn't good enough. SG1 and the SGC won out over _him._ He was her fiancé, for cripe's sake!

Most men would be ecstatic at the thought of dating some smart, leggy blonde who saved the world on a daily basis. 'At the thought,' Pete mused bitterly. He was actually living it. It was one thing to share a bed and keep secrets, but it was another thing to share a bed with someone who kept secrets about an extraterrestrial a threat to their very existence.

No, that wasn't the kind of life he wanted. He didn't want to see the distant look in her eyes when she spoke fondly of her team or O'Neill, and have to wonder if there wasn't an even _bigger_ secret amongst it all.

He'd been all right when the 'thing with the eyes' happened. He'd really, truly believed that things would work out in their, no—_his_ favour, but it soon became apparent that just wasn't going to happen and he found himself clinging to even the barest shred of hope that love between them could exist.

_**Cause I want it all  
Or nothing at all  
There's no where left to fall  
When you reach the bottom it's now or never  
Is it all  
Or are we just friends  
Is this how it ends  
With a simple telephone call  
You leave me here with nothing at all** _

There was another option available—a telephone call, as the lyrics suggested. What did he have to lose? A romance, a chance, what? His pride. Pete Shanahan was a proud man, and he prided himself in having guts. Maybe he'd do it that way..

_**There are times it seems to me  
I'm sharing you with memories  
I feel it in my heart  
But I don't show it show it  
And then there's times you look at me  
As though I'm all that you can see  
Those times I don't believe it's right  
I know it**_

_Know it_

Pete felt his eyes get a funny feeling when he read through the stanza. He _was _sharing Sam with memories. It wasn't just occasionally, it happened a lot. He used to love mentioning the snow or ice, but he'd stopped altogether. Every time he did, he'd catch her with some faraway look in her eye. He'd questioned her once, and she'd told him it was a fond memory of a then Colonel O'Neill, that she had.

He felt it every time she got _'that' _look in her eye. But he knew the stress that she already carried, saving the universe and all; and so he respected it and didn't show it outwards. Still, there were times when all Samantha Carter would do is look at him, and he'd feel as if he were on top of the world. Of course, those moments were usually then interrupted by an ill-timed cell-phone or pager…

**Don't me make me promises  
Baby you never did know how to keep them well  
I've had the rest of you  
Now I want the best of you**  
_**It's time for show and tell**_

She'd promised him so much, without knowing it. A house, white picket fence, yellow kitchen, 2.5 kids, dog…but he should have known that it was all wishful thinking. The likes of a woman like Samantha Carter would never belong to a cop like him.

_**Cause you and I  
Could lose it all if you've got no more room  
No room inside for me in your life  
Cause I want it all  
Or nothing at all  
There's no where left to fall  
It's now or never**_

The fights they'd had were resolved in the bedroom. Always. There was no talking it out. Pete thought that was one of the weaknesses in their relationship. They never 'really' talked, either because they hadn't been allowed or because they'd found 'another means' of solving the problem.

It was clear that she had all the _men_ in her life that she needed. Whenever he broached the subject of her relationship with SG1 or especially O'Neill, she would withdraw and get defensive. While Pete knew she had a career she was proud of, and wanted to protect it, he always suspected that when it came to her snowy-haired CO, she'd be more than willing to give it all up.

But enough was enough. She'd taken advantage of it, perhaps unknowingly, but she had and he was hurt. He wished that his best friend had never introduced them and that he'd never given his heart to her because even if he didn't have her heart, at least he'd still have his own. Lucky for him, there was still time to get on with his own life.

Pete picked up his cell phone with a new determination, and punched the familiar numbers for speed dial one. He pressed the call button firmly for the last time.

"Hi! You've reached Lt. Colonel Samantha Carter! I'm not home right now, so leave me a message and I'll get back to you ASAP."

Is it all  
Or are we just friends

'_I gave her my heart and all I have from her is her voice-mail…'_ he thought bitterly, as he heard her voice fade for the last time.

"Hey Sam. It's Pete. I don't really know how to say this, but…..it, this thing. It's not working out between us. I don't know if you've already opened the note I slipped under the door, but I think it explains a lot. I'd like to be friends with you, when we've both healed, but for now, I wish you the best. Earth and otherwise….."

Is this how it ends  
With a simple telephone call  
You leave me here with nothing at all

"…I guess this is it, then. Good luck, Sam…and…Goodbye." Click

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How was that? Did you read the lyrics? Please let me know what you think either by email , review or otherwise. Should I do a continuation or a sequel?

This song is really, really, really, really, really good.If you would like to hear it, email me at and I'll see what I can do for you.


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